Fun in Wally World

Sara and I made a run to Walmart last night and spent a third of our trip in the hair aisle. What started as Sara looking for a new hairdryer turned into me frantically looking for a piece of paper to write down some of our quotes. Here’s a peek into our shopping experience:

Sara: “What’s the difference in these hairdryers? This one has frizz control, but this one says it dries fast. This one has smoothing agents.”
Me: “Do you talk to yourself when you shop alone? … Cuz you seem like that kind of person.”

Sara: “Why are there so many brushes? There should be just one choice. This one is geloious.”
Me: “It’s not geloious; it’s ‘gelous,’ but that’s not really a word.”
Sara: “Ooh, this matches my wall! How do I know which one to get? This is too hard!”
Me: “How do you ever make decisions?”

Sara: “If I were dry shampoo, where would I be? … My leggings are sagging.”

Sara: “Can we go now?”
Me: “No, I gotta write down your quote.”
Sara: “Oh my gosh, can’t you just start carrying around a recorder? No wait, that would be dangerous. … Are you ready? This is taking a long time.”
Me: “Um, excuse me, none of the things in the cart are mine.”

Here are some of our best finds:

A hairdryer with “mineral conditioning crystals.” What does that even mean? And how do they get them in there?

A two-in-one headband and necklace. I think this was invented by someone whose headband slipped off the head and said person thought, “Hey, I’ll make a lot of money by pretending this is cool.”

A lotion applicator for those hard-to-reach places. This can also be used for sunscreen and topical analgesics. Honestly not a terrible idea.

A satin slumber cap. I thought only the characters in the book “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” wore these.

And my favorite, the Wav Enforcer. I know I’m white, but I really want to know what this would do to my hair. Can white people have a fade? Or is that just called balding?

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2 thoughts on “Fun in Wally World

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